Lost but not alone
by SinfulPetGirlRD
Summary: Bellanaris ends up in way over her head when asked by her clan leader to spy on the shems meeting. But however hard, life as a dalish elf has made her good at adapting and the way she makes some strong friendships and even entertains an intimate relationship or two (elvish translations at end)
1. By and By

First, my name is Bellanaris Lavellan. You can call me Bell for short. I am an Elvhen mage from the Dalish clan Lavellan. This is to be a notation of me and my adventures in case something were to happen and given that I can't, granted, won't trust Varric to put nothing but the truth, I have decided to do this myself. *Sigh this should be fun…..*

I awoke to darkness, the ground underneath cold and hard.. Stone, perhaps? Was I in a cell? By Fen'Herel where could I be? My mind draws a blank on what happened, but there in the palm of my hand a dull ache, a reminder of what happened. The sound of a large door opening is followed by the dim light of a candelabra. Two women walk in. Both shems… Rolling my eyes I think, *Great just what I need.* The first, clad in armor, a braid dawns the crown of her head. She walks behind me

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now" She says and begins her rant.

Why am I the only one alive? I remember…A…..a light a bright green light and at the opening a faceless woman, the words GO scream inside my head.

" I…I don't know what you are talking about" I exclaim as she grabs my hand causing the mark to flare up in a burst of pain and light

"Then explain this" she says through gritted teeth. The pain from the flare up draws tears from my eyes.

"I can't, I don't know what it is and I don't know what you are going on about…. Is is everyone…are you sure?" I ask looking up at her.

"Yes everyone at the conclave is dead, yet you live".

A name flickers in my thoughts like a light going out…Everyone? I think to myself then that means…My thoughts are cut off as the second woman, in a head to toe gown, speaks up.

"We need her" That's all she says those three simple words are enough for the first woman, whose name I've gathered is Cassandra, to pull me on to my feet then drags me towards the door.

It's bright outside, the sky is for lack of a better word broken. There is a big green hole, its nasty and angry looking. Cassandra looks at me

"It started with the destruction of the conclave and has grown bigger by the hour. We must act, try to close it as it grows more rifts appear, maybe that mark can…"

"A minuet ago you threatened to kill me. NOW, you want my help?" I say looking down "do I have…."my words cut off by a loud crack as the hole in the sky glows, my mark flaring up in response. Dropping to my knees I cradle my hand against my body and look up when the pain subsides.

"The mark is killing you, we need to test it on a smaller rift if it can close one, perhaps we can close the first and save you" Cassandra says kneeling next to me, I only nod in response.

When we stand she unbinds my hands and we head for the gate. She speaks, but I tune her out while we walk for I am lost in my own thoughts. Ma da'assan, Ir abelas Mythal ghilani ma elgar. I am drawn from my thoughts as I hear my captor yell run, another burst from the breach sends lighting down hitting the bridge we walk causing it to crumble. Running fast as I can, we're not going to make it a loud rumble and it gives way…We grunt as we land below,

"STAY BEHIND ME!"

I look up and there, clawing its way out of the very ground is a demon. Cassandra runs to attack it as a second begins to appear in front of me, I look around for something... ANYTHING... Ah, there, amidst the rubble- a staff. Crude but, it will get the job done. Between the two of us, the demon pair is easily dispatched I even killed my foe quick enough to lend the woman a hand, yet Cassandra has the nerve to ask me to disarm. I considered telling her I don't need a staff to be dangerous it merely helps but seeing as I am not in the best position to joke, I agree and begin to put it down. When, lo and behold she decides, to let me keep it. *Fenedhis! humans can never make up their minds.*

We pushed on, taking out whatever came our way untill we reached a destroyed house where, inside, people where fighting. I take a few moments to see everyone fighting the demons, there is an elf mage like me, a dwarf and a few other humans. *Thank Mythal someone I can relate to!* I take up a position next to the elf mage and help them finish off the beasts. As soon as the last falls the elf, (who, mind you, isn't too bad looking despite, being bald and possibly a city elf for, lack of a vallaslin) grabs my marked hand and points it towards the rift. In an instant it is closed

"Seems you hold the key to our salvation" he smiles as he talks.

"So I can help?" I ask, and he nods. Then greetings ensue. The dwarf is named Varric and he wields a cross bow that is almost as big as he is tall….. *Oh, what did he call it? Started with a B… B… OH! Bianca, that was its name.* And the elf? His staff is not much better than mine and Solas he said his name was. Pride thats what is name means. Fitting so far, given the way he carries himself.

We make our way to the forward camp, fighting more demons and closing another rift on the way. At the came we meet up with Cassandras people, a few churchy people and the woman from before, I finally caught her name this time. "Leliana." Rolls off the tongue nicely. There, we gather more potion and decide what to do next. And wouldn't you believe it, they asked for my opinion...ME of all people! Not moments ago, the two women threatened to kill me on suspicion of being involved in the explosion. I repeat, humans are confusing. Given my choices, the mountain pass was a good idea. Yes we had more fighting to do but, we did find Cassandra's lost men and made it to the remains of the conclave in record time. I look up at the breach... *Fenedhis lasa!* It's even bigger than I thought. What could have caused this…. this thing? I thought, after my attempt to close the original rift, I would run back to my clan but even *I* can't ignore the problem of this thing. Looks like I'm stuck… yay for me. And Fen'harel protect me! The demon that came out of it? Truly a thing of nightmares it was.

Voices, words with no meaning. A face here and there. What happened? Quickly sitting up I look around, AH! An elf servant yelps when I awake-talking to fast and scared of me. But why? All I could make out over her mumbling was "chantry" and "at once". Guess I'm going to the chantry. I lay my head in my hands for a moment before standing and moving to the wash bin. What in the world am I wearing? It's light and tight like a second skin. Jewels are darted here and there and its made of a light brown leather... nug skin perhaps? With a shake of my head I wash my face and try to do something with my thick ass long hair,. Eventually giving up, I leave the room - the temporary staff alone on the bed. No use walking around with it might give the wrong impression.

When I step out all heads turn, few drop what they are holding "That's her" "She did it". "That's the herald". "It's a mage? A knife eared mage?" Good thing I didn't say "could it get worse?". Its like that all the way to the chantry. Human, dwarf and elf alike stare and whisper as I pass. Yep, this has definitely gone from bad to worse, an elf as the center of attention? This can't...sorry, WON'T end well.

The next day, I head back to the chantry. I guess Cassandra has people she wants me to meet - people who can help with this inquisition thing we are going to be doing.

"Does it bother you?" she asks as we make our way to what has been turned into a 'war room'.

"It's like a dull tooth ache, but in my arm. I want it gone." I say as I pause mid-step to look at it. The mark runs from the inside knuckle of my pinky to the bottom of my palm then back up between my thumb and pointer. "I know but you were able to close the first rift if we put more power into maby... JUST... maby…"

I cut her off putting a hand up " You want to put power into something we don't understand? Something, may I remind you, is on the hand of an elf…and elf mage at that is, by your standards an apostate?" *snorts* "Sure! Why not! What harm could it cause?" I ask as I tilt my head to the side a blank expression on my face.

Cassandra laughs as if I was joking, "hold on to your jokes….beth…belad…be"

"Bellanaris" I pipe in.

"Right, right. Sorry, Bellanais. Your name is just so hard to remember"

A shrug of my shoulders is my only response as we enter the war room. The first of the group, a male human, who to my surprise is not bad looking, normally most shem look alike especially the men. But him? Maybe it is the scar drawing attention to his full lips or his blue eyes that shine out over his stern expression… Or the hair…I... oh my... I'm sorry um... The other shem a female named Josephine and the Leliana from the forward camp.

"This is the herald?" Cullen (that's the human by the way) asks. "Herald"... that word again. Oh, how my Hahren would laugh if he heard that. An ELF the herald of andraste? *Ha! HA!* I say. I keep hoping this is all a joke and there is a good punch line at the end because in the span of a few days I went from the most wanted person in all Thades to the "Herald of Andraste", ruled a "heretic" by the chantry. Yah better be a DAMN good punch line.

After the talks, which I more sat and listened to then anything, they desided I should go to the Hinterlands and talk to a Revered Mother... *Yay! more church stuff*. But till then, I was free to wonder the camp and relax. Not a bad idea but before I do, me thinks it would be good to talk to the people I'm going to be stuck with, you know. Get to know them and make sure they're not to sucky. Who should I stalk first? *Choices... choices so many choices*. Cassandra? Didn't start well with her so might be best to avoid. Varric I could visit despite, the situation we met in. He made the air light with his jokes. Then, Solas. He is so quite, but I have a way of getting people to open up so it doesn't hurt to try. I could talk to…What was her name?…. Oh lets just call her "Josie" But she seams as shem as shem can get. I understand she deals with nobles and actually enjoys it *Ugh*. There is Cullen but, from the sounds outside the gate, he's probably busy. I know! elf first, human second.

As I walk my hands are clasped behind my back shoulders hunched and head down - a futile attempt to make myself hide in plain sight. Yet when so many people watch your every move hiding is a losing battle.

I make my way to an area on the side of the chantry where I found Solas speaking with the alchemist on how to make more from less with elf roots. When he sees me, he nods and parts with Adan.

"Inquisitor, I am glad to see you up and around, again" he says as he walks over to me.

" Thank you again"

"'It is no problem I was merely doing what I could to help, if you do not mind me asking how are you faring?"

I shake my head and sigh loudly " To be honest I'm hoping this is just a trick of the fade and I'll wake up soon. Between everyone staring at me and the constant "Herald this" "Herald that"... I don't even believe in the Shems maker yet the "Herald" sticks it is maddening"

Solas nods and motions to a bench for us to sit. To my surprise, he actually has a lot to say and, I'm probably imagining this, I could have sworn I caught him staring at me once or twice. And with this chance to really see him, he is not a city elf like I thought Solas is an "apostate" like myself. He has high set cheek bones, he's lean and fit, with eyes that appear to look through you. I talk to him as much as I can between the elvish and the talk about magic it was…..nice, for everything that has happened thus far having something I can relate to really helped me relax. Eventually, though, we end the conversation and I remembered I wanted to speak to the commander as well, so I take my leave and head towards the front gate.

Outside the main town, there stands Cullen overseeing the recruits training. Watching him move about and bark orders, I couldn't help but be entranced. I've no clue how long I watched but something happened, I mean of course it did! You give untrained shems a sharp sword and sooner or later someone is bound to get hurt. Cullens back was turned but he heard the yelp "Motherbucker that hurt!" Right across the ribs...and deep to. Poor guy he goes down. Shaking my head, I step away from the wall and move next to the guy, gave poor Cullen a fright as he didn't hear or see me till he went to the guys side. I point to the recruit with blood on his sword.

"He got carried away and he", points to the one on the ground, "seamed to forget he had a shield in his hand."

" Sweet maker man your lucky that didn't kill you" Cullen says his arms crossing over his chest."

I just nod as my hand begins to glow green with healing magic. The other pointing to the potion hanging out of cullens sachel... a wordless motion asking for the potion.

"Ma serannas" I say when he hands it to me and I give the man it help to help with the pain while my magic heals the wound. "It will be sore a while yet but you'll live." I say as I stand up wiping my now bloody hand on the grass

"Thank you Herald," the man says and slowly gets to his feet. Cullen shakes his head and has the man sit out. By now I am back by my wall. *Is he? Yep.* Once the man was scolded, Cullen makes his way over to thank me, yet, for no apparent reason, I feel the tips of my ears turn red.

"Thank you for that, saved me the trouble of bothering Solas, that is a man I want to avoid." He says as he stands in front of me, a hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

With a tilt of my head I ask "why?"

" It's the way he stares at me... almost like he's looking into my soul" he shudders. That wins him a small laugh and smile. We chat a bit until someone comes over with a clipboard and shoves it in Cullen's face

"As I was saying" he says with a smile then takes his leave.

{Elvish translation: Fen'Harel= dread wolf, shem=quickling(human),hahren=elder/clan leader, ma=my/you, da'assan=little arrow, ir=I, abelas= sorry,mythal= elf goddess, ghilani= guide elgar=home, fenedhis=curse word,fenedhis lasa=extension of fenedhis


	2. Getting the hang of thing

I awoke before the sun breached the horizon. It has been the same the past few days, talk to this person heal this, wander there and then back. We leave today, they say it will be a long trip and that we have more than enough supplies but, I still have the crude staff I found when we closed the first rift. If I want to avoid hitting someone with a stray fire or ice bolt, I will need something better so out I go. I dawn my robes, nicely provided by master Harrit. They are warmer than they look and a great improvement than the rest ware I was in. Carefully I slip out of town only have a fright when I hear a throat clearing behind me. I turn around shamefully.

"I'll be back I promise but... my staff I need to improve it before we part." I ramble on only stopping when I realize who it is. "Oh! Commander good morning, um you're not gunna tell Leliana on me are you?" I ask messing with the hem of my gloves, that woman I tell you has been watching me like a hawk quite unnerving if I do say so myself.

"No" he says with a smile, "just be careful and hurry back, It's about 3 hours before everyone wakes".

"Then what are you doing up?" I ask my head tilting to the side in question. His face looks somber as if he can't find the words but finally settles with

"I had trouble sleeping, nothing to concern yourself with."

"of course commander, then if you'd like, would you join me? If it is a while before everyone wakes maybe you'd like to relax?" Cullen laughs and nods after a moment, a silent agreement then we take off.

"NO no no no no, UGH!" I say with a sigh as I inspect a ram we were hunting. " You ruined the pelt". All ready you can see signs of bruising along the inside of the skin. He scratches his head, gaze not looking at me

"I'm sorry I was having so much fun it slipped my mind".

" I'll have to make do I guess" I tie it up hog style and stand "I have my gems, I'll have bones and hide to reinforce the staff body…it'll make due." I say as he picks up the ram throwing it over his broad shoulders.

" I really am sorry, at least the meat won't go to waste"

"true" I say as we begin heading back. Thankfully the town still sleeps.

"You only watch" I say as he leans against a post for the blacksmith. His hands go up in defense and smiles

"As you wish lady herald" I was in the process of saving what hide I could and quickly drying it with a fire spell when I heard that.

" Oh no not you two, I hear that all day every day please just call me by my nickname bell, ok?" I ask my brow knitted together.

"Ok and call me Cullen, but if you call me what the dwarf does I'll tell Leliana you slipped out." Putting my hand on my chest like I've been wounded

"Ouch, hate the nickname that much?" He simply nods and I go back to my work I finished with time to spare. When done the hide covers the middle of the staff reinforcing the length of it while making it more comfortable to hold. A jagged bone sits on the bottom for use on an enemy to close. At the top a skull I found while out with Cullen, its eye sockets have been filled with some amethyst I found. There it's not perfect but it is defiantly better than what I got here with.

"Making improvements I see?" A voice says behind me.

"Yes I don't want a spell to go awry in a fight so better safe than sorry".

"True enough" Solas says "may I?" he reaches out his hand so he can look at my handiwork, with a nod I hand him the staff and he looks it over. "Not bad my friend, why amethyst if I might ask."

"I've found it's best with fire and it is an important stone for me" I say taking the staff back. Solas nods, it's common for mages to do that, to add something, no matter how small because the item means something to them and helps them focus.

"well we have a few moments yet would you want to do some target practice? See if your improvements are good or not". A large grin crosses my face as I look at him

"Up against your crude staff? Oh you are on ma falon". A recruit sees us walk over to the sparring dummies and runs over " wish to train before you leave my lady Herald? I'll get the dummies set up, range yes?" I look at the woman confused,

"Um" is all I manage to say before Solas pipes up"Yes we need to test our accuracy" she nods and begins setting up

" Thank you, I am still not used to people acting like that towards me" I say as I adjust my stance.

"It will take time I'm sure" We go back an forth starting on the closest dummy and going further and further, the improvements to my staff makes a big difference. From what I can tell Solas is skilled and despite his crude staff he hits the targets without problem only missing once. Which I think was for my benefit. I missed for than I cared to admit but once I got used to the new balance of my weapon I was fine./p

Eventually we mount up and depart with me at the front, Solas and Cassandra behind me and Varric bring up the rear. Thankfully I remembered the map and routes needed because as I feared everyone is and will look to me for answers. We carry only the most basic necessity. A bed roll, a handful of potions a piece, dried meats and containers of water. The journey is long and tedious yet I am grateful there is no lack of conversation in the group as we travel or I should have started going bonkers. Only a few hours a night are spent sleeping all the time on horseback my bum is so sore I give up and walk next to my mount for a few hours, yes I get a few smart remarks from Varric, even solas laughs but I brush it off. Walking for hours is not new to me and it's a win win. The horse loses 115 lbs of weight on its back and I get to stretch my legs. We reach the camp that way, me walking everyone else still on the backs of their mounts . I am so so glad I decided to walk once in a while because when my companions finally dismounted they stumbled around weak legged for a good 10 minutes, oh I laughed my butt off Cass however didn't find it as funny.

While everyone got their bearings I was debriefed on the situation at the crossroads by a dwarf named Harding. Apparently the rebel mages were at war with the Templars. Now I want to make it known I do not really like Templars one too many times they went after me and the other mages in my clan they would say

"We are a risk", "that they simply wanted to help". Help my ass, the elves have always done fine we are taught to respect magic and keep mages spread out to reduce the risk of possession. If all did that, if the all mighty chantry did that... To teach mages to respect magic, spirits, and the fade there would be no need for Templars. But because the shems will do as shems do then maybe the Templars should be taught to understand and respect mages not fear and control them. Now with that out of the way I do think the war is pointless and causes too many unnecessary deaths because common folk are caught in the middle. This needs to be dealt with.  
The crossroads are not too far from the camp where we see many a body dead on the ground. Mages with arrow and sword wounds and Templars with frozen or burnt body parts. The homes are locked up tight with people hiding away as inquisition solders try to fight off the waring. We help as best as we can almost falling into a dance. Solas is in the back he shoots ice spells to stop the enemy in their tracks while Cassandra follows up with the killing blow. I hit a man with a fire burst that's lands him on his back, before he has time to stand Varric hits him between the eyes with a cross bow bolt. This continues till the last one falls.

"So many hurt or worse because of a fruitless war" Solas puts his two sense in with a shake of his head.

"Maybe we can make them see reason" I say as I make my way to who I assume to be mother Giselle. She convinces a man, who is clearly afraid of everything to do with magic, to let the mage healers help him. We speak as we walk the crossroads and she has an idea, a be it a terrible idea but at least it is something. She says I should head to the Val Royeaux and try to change the minds of some of them. I don't have to convince all but some? That could mean a world of difference if some doubt. So we stay at the crossroads for a good two weeks doing what we can to help. Hardly speaking to one another while we did different things. Solas and I helped as temporary healers and herb gathers, though making potions was not my strong suit I did know how to gather herbs and which did what. Cassandra worked with the on site commander and a recruit named Whittle to find food and blanket for the people using the crossroads as a refugee camp. I understand the people are scared and fleeing the fighting but to forget simple things a few provisions, warm clothing things of that nature it makes me wonder what shems think is important. Varric lifted everyone's spirits by telling stories by camp fire when everyone gathered to eat.

On our last night there I sit by the camp fire alone reading, the morning I received a raven from Leliana saying a new recruit claimed to be from my clan. I couldn't believe the words I read, if it was true than they had hope I lived that I… *I let out a heavy sigh talking a gulp from my drink*, even if that was true I am involved with something bigger than myself now something that can change the fate of the world. I cannot return until this is taken care of. I want to return home I want to grieve for ma da'assan for I have not had the chance yet but...*sigh*

"Something the matter ma falon?" Solas says voice low as not to wake anyone up. Without looking up I say

" ir emma abelas. Ir galndival'las arla". He sits next to me

"I am surprised how much elven you know and you could once all this is done." Ha!I laugh

"How can you be sure Solas? This…. THIS mission how will it change me, if after spending so much time with shems would my clan even accept me back? I mean fenedhis imagine if their dizziness rubbed off on me" I hang my head. Through all that has happened I have tried to save face by pretending to be strong, but catch me when I'm tired and worn out? Well... Solas starts to laugh, the sound is carefree and causes me to smile

"And just what has you tickled?" I ask.

"You do, you shouldn't worry about them rubbing off on you, especially with your knowledge of the elven language, maybe you'll change them instead. Maybe after this is all done elves will be better off because of you. And I'm sure you're clan will take you back no matter what, they would be fools not to". I nod knowing he speaks the truth even if I don't believe it yet. We talk for a while, him relaxing as I do. As he relaxes delving into deep details of his adventures into the fade his mask falls slightly, I am able to see a handsome selfless elf who, like myself, has despite fighting and the hatred of the world has decided to help save it. Eventually we part and retire for come morning we head back to haven to decide how to handle Val Royeaux.

Upon our return I am greeted by Lileana who tells me there is an elf at my cabin waiting to speak with me and the advisors are waiting for me in the war room. I ask her to give me a few moments then I will join them. In my cabin I find the elf sitting in the center of the floor reading, indeed she is from my clan and was asked by our hahren to see if I still lived. If I did she was to bring me home...I breefly explain what has happened since the explosion of the conclave last month and that as much as I wish to I can not return, not yet. Thankfully she understands and hugs me before going to collect her horse. She is to return to the clan and tell our hahren everything I told her. I watch her pass through the gate before going the war room.

"Maybe the Herald should address the chantry, it's not that bad of an idea you know" Josie says looking up from her clipboard.

"Have you forgotten they want me dead? I go talk to them and I'll be hanged by the neck till dead!" I proclaim, annoyance heavy in my voice. Cullen nods in agreement

"Having her go could make matters worse not better"

"You don't know that, maybe if Cassandra goes with things might work out, she WAS the right hand of the divine" Josie is trying hard to make her case. And Cassandra damn her she agrees,

"You should go and I will accompany you. We have to try something sitting here going around in circles does no one any good and just pushes the matter off we can't afford to waste anymore time then we already have."

"Ugh fine" I say putting my hands up in surrender "but if this goes bad and I'm sure it will I am so haunting the fenedhis out of you, if we are done?"

"we are leaving tomorrow so get your rest". Mhm, I respond as I walk out of the room. If ever there was a terrible idea this takes the prize. I try to process my thoughts when my stomach yells at me, food first it bard sings while I eat the tavern if full of people eating supper. There is so much chatter going on it is hard to tune it out, yet it's so all over the place I can't even follow one if I tried. When finished I sit and savor my drink. My moment of piece is interrupted by two men sitting next to me. "COME ON curly it is a simple question. Who do you think is more fun in bed Cassandra or Josie?"

A grunt comes from Cullen as his sits "I told you I refuse to entertain the idea now let it go"

"Bah! your no fun. So hey Bell how's the food? Eatable today?". I snicker

"Don't let the cook hear you Varric. Might spit in your food but to answer your question yes it's actually good tonight". The three of us go back and forth me and Varric telling tails of what happened and Cullen filling us in what went on around haven while we were away. We talked until the sun starts to fade behind the horizon. Varric is the first to go, when I get up from the table Cullen's fingers brush my arm. It is just the lightest touch but enough to make me turn around and look at him. He speaks so softly I almost didn't hear him

" It's stupid but I'm…well I'm glad you're back…I mean…" I smile, sleep showing on my face

"Thank you Cullen and sweet dreams. I make my way back to my cabin, lost in my thoughts.

{elvish translation: ma=my, falon=friend, da'assan= little arrow,ir=i am, emma= full of, abelas= sorrow. Ir= i, Galndival'las= wish to go(combination of galndival=wish and ghilas=to go) , arla=home. Remember some elvish words have more than one meaning, my translations the meaning regarding the context it is in}


	3. The all Mighty Church

Things in Val Royeaux could have gone better. When we arrived, one of leliana's people ran up to us as we entered the gate, saying the chantry was speaking out about us and had the Templars to protect them from us. Us! Of all people… They are so concerned about people turning away from the chantry that they are ignoring the breach in the sky. They should be happy we just want to help, hell I even out right said and will keep saying it, I am not and was not sent by their Andraste, nor do I believe in their Maker. I follow the elven gods, yes unlike most I actually pray to Fen'heral for guidance and the like but that is not the point. The shems need to stop their petty fights and help us all ready. When we walk over, down the mothers put us saying this, that and that other thing about us. We tried to defend ourselves but the Templars came over, and much to my surprise one of them sucker punched the head mother.

"And here I thought I was the bad guy" I say crossing my arms.

"We did not come for you "Herald'" the word hisses out of his mouth with such hate you can feel it on your skin. "Templars Val Royeaux is no longer worthy of our protection come", one of them says and attempts to take his leave. Cassandra tries to reason with him but he walks off.

"Well so much for their help" I say.

"Don't write them off so quickly we may be able to get their help yet."

With that out of the way we prepare to take our leave. When an arrow is shot down in front of us, it has a message attached to it. Red Jenny? What in all Thedas is that? Curious we run around the marketplace, finding three red handkerchiefs with a note under each.

" Hm the hints point us to an ally off the main marketplace, I say we see what's going on" I announce as I looking down over the notes rereading them.

"Could be worth the trouble" Solas chimes in. I nod e

"To the ally it is".

Just off the main road we find n old path leading to the ally in question. There we find a man who knows who I am and seems to think I know of him but, I'm more lost than a nug. He doesn't even get to attack before a blond headed elf pops out of the shadows.

"just say what". She says pulling back her arrow. Mister noble looks over "What is the..." he is cut off as the arrow goes through his eye with a dull 'thunk'. The girl begins to speak but she is all over the place, honestly she makes my head hurt thankfully some guards who were missing the lower part of their armor came out for us to fight. She wants to join and since I can't afford to turn away helpers so I agree to let her join us…for now. I haven't known her a mere 10 minutes and already I want to drop her like yesterdays raven but like I said I cannot afford to turn away help.

So she is to meet us in Haven, on our way to the front gate we are stopped by someone who worked for a Madame de Fer, saying that I have been invited to join her party as the Madame wishes to join my cause. *I shrug* sure why not, leaving the rest of my group in the marketplace I head to the Madames home. There man opens the door and I follow him in "I present to you Lady Bellanaris of the inquisition". I wanted to get this over as quickly as possible so I walk into the room as if I own the place where a man and woman begin talking to me about things I may or may not have done. Another comes down the stairs, pointing fingers and bashing the inquisition, before I have time to respond a person who I assume to be the madame, freeze the man with a flick of her wrist. She asks me what she should do with the man and frankly I don't care so she unfreezes him, insults him, then sends him on his way. We part from the party to talk in private.

She says her name is Vivienne and that she is the personal enchanter to the Orlesian Empress. Since she has such status and is a powerful mage. I dare not tell her no. This is not a woman I want to cross so like the elf before I agree to let her join the inquisition. After speaking to her, my party and I make it back to the marketplace. There I find my group looking over the baubles for sale. Before leaving I look around a little. There are so many beautiful things to be found, sadly I do not have the coin so I gather my party and we make our way to the gate.

As we are mounting a woman stops us. She suggests going to meet the rebel mages in Red Clift, that they may be willing to lend us their aid. Hmm I will have to think on that. I thank the woman and we take our leave.

After a few hours on the trail I once again am found walking side by side my horse.

" That is odd, you relies that, yes?" Cassandra says breaking the silence "you are supposed to ride the horse not walk it."

"They are more than beasts of burden Cassandra , they feel as we do and think and if still wild have families." I respond, easily keeping up with my horse and the group, "besides I have two working legs why not use them?"

"You really are different ma falon"

I look back over at him, a smug expression on my face, "You don't know the half of it Solas". We have been traveling for a good part of the day and we only have an hour or two before the sun sets so we decide to make camp for the night. As we eat Varric annoys Cassandra while me and Solas talk, he shares his most recent adventure into the fade. Eventually though I grow tired and retire to my tent, leaving the group to their conversations. When the sun starts to rise we pack, and mount up ready to finish the trip home. As we ride Solas moves to ride along next to me. He puts a closed hand out and says here. *Looking over I raise an eyebrow*

"What is it?"

"Just open your hand" he responds shoving his fist towards me again. My face contorts to show my confusion but I do as he says. When I do he plops this little black and gold wolf figure into my out stretched hand. My eyes go wide as I bring it close to my face, inspecting it. The figure is cold to the touch and sunlight bounces off of the gold accents.

"I saw you looking it before we left the marketplace…I had coin to spare so" Solas says, not looking away from the road.

Grinning wide I stuff the wolf figure into my chest pocket "Thank you, I have always loved wolfs"

"If you do not mind me asking, why? Correct me if I am wrong but by dalish tradition wolfs are associated with Fen'harel. And are normally feared"

A soft laugh passes my lips as I speak "tis true they are but…Well if I told you, you would think me silly"

"I very much doubt that" he says with certainty . I give him a questioning look as I begin to explain how against my hahrens advice, I have always loved Fen'harel, I do not think he is guilty of what they say he is, and even if it is true. Well maybe he had a good reason and every outcome was worse. So like mythal I pray to him for guidance and even used to lay by his statue at night when I was scared. Its why I love wolfs so much. And as I explain I steal glances at him trying to see what he might think. But his face is blank for most of it, I thought…For a second I saw surprise but.. no nothing. I end my explanation with a shrug before going silent. Solas nods and falls back from my side. See? He thinks me odd. I'm not that surprised, I mean most of my clan laugh. But with how he talks of the fade, you'd think he would have something, ANYTHING to say about it but nope not a word.

Eventually I grow tired of the ride and look to the sky, hm we could ride through the night and make it back before dawn but. No that would be foolish; instead we set camp for the night. The next day we arrive at haven as we trot up to the gate I see Cullen, he greats me with a big smile and wave as he walks over, taking the rains of my horse.

"How are you Bell?" Cullen asks as I climb off of my horse, "I heard what Liliana's man said, of all the times to leave the chantry. Samson he, well he's never been to bright but… leaving the chantry?! And the fighting with the mages. It is madness."

Nodding in agreement I put a hand on his arm

"I know but getting upset helps no one I know that, you know that. And the Templar,mage war is being handled by our forces, so let's just go to the war room and decide what to do next we have lots to talk about". His smile has long since been replaced with a grim look as we make our way to the war room. Cullen and Cassandra swears by the Templars, saying that they may help us yet. While me and Leliana fight them, we think the mages would be our best bet. For what seamed like hours we went round in round in circles. Eventually I have had enough

*I slam my hand on to the table getting their attention.*

"WE ARE GETTING NO WHERE!" *I take a deep breath before I continue...*Look we can at least go talk to the mages if it turns out to be a dead end them we'll try the …Templars, as a last resort I guess. But that is what I'm doing if you don't like then oh well". I look around the room, everyone has stopped talking and is staring at me with shocked expressions from the outburst. Up until this point I have just sat quietly in the discussions but I do not want to work with the Templars I would rather try the mages first and since no one can agree…Well I'll be the voice of reason then. Cullen rubs his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Fine, if that is what you want to do we'll try that. When do you want to set out?"

" I know it is a pressing matter but, I need a bath, a good rest and some food. When we got back from the hinterlands the first time I was here for a night then spent 4 days on the road again, just…please give me a day or two. Everyone can rest up and relax and it will give us time to restock." When no one speaks I leave the room. Outside I stand, my forehead pressed against the cold stone of a pillar. A few moments pass then I hear the war room door open, Cullen walks over an stands next to me.

"How about we go get a drink and relax? You look like you need it" I tilt my head to the side and look at him as he speaks, eventually giving a nod of agreement. At the tavern not much is said, our food is hardly touched as we our small conversation I come to understand Cullen does not trust mages. His loss I guess. Yes I admit though our short time together I have grown to enjoy my time with him but if he cannot trust mages well then will happen between us. If he doesnt trust them then he must not trust me. We take two days to restock and gather ourselves before heading to Redcliff


	4. The Rebel Mages

I kind of want to spare you what happened in Redclift but you'll be lost so I will sum it up. Basically the rebel mages have…well against better judgement come under control of a Tevinter Magister named Gereon Alexius. Who works for someone called the elder one. The magister uses time magic…I…I didn't even know something like that was possible, Solas was as dumbfounded as I was so that's saying something. Anyway there is a plan to kill me, the Magister's son wants to help take his dad down, and there is another Tiventer mage who also wants to help. His name is Dorian, things highly of his self, and something tells me we won't be able to get rid of him. So we got back to skyhold, Cullen was not happy with what we found out but he still agrees we cannot leave the mages in the hands of the Tiventers. Especially with them so close to haven. We spend a week in Haven. There is a lot that needs to be done. We have to figure out how to get Leliana's men in so they can take out Alexius guards. Solas, sera and Cassandra will accompany me as my "consorts".

As our war table meeting comes to a close, Cassandra, Leliana and Josie take their leave. Like me Cullen stays behind going over the details one last time.

"Bell, are you sure you want to go through with this? If we are not careful it could go wrong. I still think we should get the Templars help. Maybe we could even have them help with this."

"Cullen" I plead, "Please, we…..I HAVE to help them. I cannot leave the mages in the hands of that man. If we help them, maybe they will help us close the breach. We need them"

"They are apostates, they cannot be helped!" He yells in response, my face drops as I look at him. It takes him a moment to realize what he said, the look on his face shows he instantly wishes he could take it back.

"OH! They are? Well "Commander"" The word rolls of my tongue with distaste, "have you forgotten by chantry rule I am an 'apostate' as well?" *I cross my arms across my chest* I'm so upset and pissed he could see the mana rolling off my skin like a loud waterfall. My words make him flinch, hmp good.

"Bell…." His eyes close as he runs a hand over his face, "that came out wrong I'm sorry….You, you are different whatever the chantry….." I cut him off by putting a hand up and storm out of the room. I need a drink. Whether he meant it or not, I don't care that….that was too much. I sit in the tavern alone drinking, I only get about two flagons down before I decided it best to retire to my cabin. As I enter the room I flick my wrist, causing the candles to light in a brilliant green flame, Solas taught me how to it. Said it is called vailfire, a physical memory of a flame.

I sit on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands. Ma' dassan ir lsala ma. Ar halam'ala shiral. Nan ir souveri. Ar nuvenin halani. Help, ha, I thought about..well never mind that now, he clearly hates 'apostates'. I lay back on the bed with a sigh soon falling asleep.

I'm awoken by a knocking on my door, with a groan I crawl out of bed and peak out side

"yes?" my voice is horse, heavy with sleep

"I'm sorry I thought you were up" "its Solas, "I wanted to show you something, but I'll let you get back to sleep"

"No its ok come in" I say stepping away from the door, "What's up?" I inquire, as I sit on my bed.

"I wanted to show you something. I found a place nearby, while I slept. What cullen said, well words travel quickly, and since we have a few days before we leave. I thought you would like to get away for a bit even if for a few hours." I simile up at him

"I'd like that but I need to get dressed then."

"Oh course" Solas bows then leaves the room. I dress and wash my face, grabbing my staff, just in case. I head out and find Solas by the stable with a horse already saddled and ready to go. I look at him before making my way over. His mask is gone again, he sits there petting and talking to the horse. Eventually though I do walk over, he smiles when he sees me.

"Only one?" I ask curious,

"Not if you are afraid to ride with me no" He responds his voice flat. "I can ready a horse for you if you'd like". I feel the tips of my ears turn red as I shake my head and watch him hop up on to the mount, I slowly follow. Try as I might I am unable to put much distance between me and him, I settle for bunching my robes in front of me, between us and loosely wrapping my arms around his waist. If I could see his face I'm sure there would be a smile. We ride for a good hour, our pace a steady canter. I take in the smells around me, the oak trees and Solas. He..hm He smells like cherry wood and herbs. I must have started falling back a sleep or zoned out because when I came to we were no longer moving. I felt…I felt his thumb tracing lightly back n forth across my hand and when I tense up his hand moves away from mine.

He clears his throat "here we are ma falon" I stretch and hop off of the horse, then look around. It was beautiful. Flowers cover the ground, a stream cuts through the land, its water still as stone. I stand there looking around and eventually walk over to kneel by the stream dipping my hands in I bring my cupped hands to my face, taking a sip of the cool clear water. When I stand back up, I look over my shoulder to see Solas walking over his arms behind his back, his face void of emotion.

"I hoped you would like this". He says standing next to me.

"I do" I respond looking at him with a smile.

"Just don't let his fears get to you, you have more important things to concern your self with. A humans opinion should not carry much weight, especially when it concerns one such as your self." Well right to the point I guess. As right as he is, what Cullen said still hurt. He has been nice to me, always asking if i'm sleeping ok or handling everything all right but..I sigh running my fingers through my hair. I shant dwell on it, right now I'm here with Solas and we are supposed to be relaxing now worrying about what the commander thinks of me. So we sit for a few hours talking I try to pry into his past, as I know little about him but he is closed tighter than an ancient tome. I do how ever mange to learn how he manged to become friends with spirits. I did not think such a thing was possible but it is amazing to think it could actually be done. During our conversation I, for a moment, forgot all about the inquisition, Cullen and what lies ahead. A few hours later, though it does end, Solas mentions we should get back before they send out a search party.

"I hate when you are right" I say as I hop on the horse behind him

He whispers something, that I didn't quite catch, as we make our way back. As we enter the gate I see Cullen barking orders to a few men, looks like Solas's idea of them sending a search party was not far from the truth. O well, as we dismount and part I avoid Cullen's gaze, I refuse to let him ruin my nice morning.

The rest of the day and week passes quickly. Before I know it, I find myself at castle Redclift in the presence of Alexius. The meeting goes well enough, when asked how many mages I thought I needed my response sets him off. Good Lelianas men should have had enough time by now. Alexius annoyed and angry as his son admits to telling us everything tries to call to his men but before us they fall, Leliana's men stepping out behind them.

"NOOO! I WILL DO WHAT THE ELDER COULD NOT" He screams,

"We don't need to remove the mark we need to remove you!" His necklace begins glowing in his hand as a rift begins to open up. Dorian, who I forgot was there, yells in responce and throws a spell at Alexus to disrupt the magic. He succeeds but only slightly. I land in shallow water, which underneath I feel stone. Looking around I see it is another cell. Great now where am I? I help Dorian up, as we look around two guards, who glow with red lyrium enter the space we are in locking the door behind them. Taking them out was not easy the red lyrium has made them a lot stronger. As I search their corpses for a key to the cell door. Dorian explains that we might have been sent forward in time. How far he's not sure. We will have to figure that out and see if we can't get back to our own time. We exit the cell, Around us red lyrium grows out of the walls and ground. Careful to avoid it, we search the rest of…well what I have assumed to be a dungeon.

There we find solas, enchanter Fiona and Cassandra. They explain what has been going on, that everyone thought we had died and a year has passed. The elder one now rules. If we are to fix this we need to find my spymaster Leliana. It takes some time but we manage. She is in a torture chamber strung up by her arms. She looks terrible…They all do I can't… As I untie her I vow not to let this come to pass. I will make this right. We explore the castle, we learn that Alexius is hold up in the throne room and to get to him we need five red lyrium shards. Should be easy enough. While we search for the shards, killing whatever gets in our way. Apparently Alexius and his older one got so much power because they killed the empress of Orlais and had this demon army…Yah its bad. So we find the shards and sure enough there is the bastard himself. The fight with him was long and drawn out, he kept opening rifts, so he can take a moments break.

But like many others before him, Alexius eventually falls. This future him may be dead but the one in the past may be reasoned with yet. Dorian said he could get us back that he just needed and hour. I don't think we have that option. The whole castle shakes and Leliana yells that the Elder has found us, we only have as much time as she has arrows. I try to stop them, Solas and Cassandra go out side to buy us some time, I don't….I don't want them sacrificing them self's for me. But if we get back we can stop this from ever happening. As Dorian opens the rift that sent us here I watch the doors burst open. Solas…His corpse and Cassandra's are thrown into the room like old rags. I want to run and help but Dorian said if I move then we'll have no chance of fixing this. So I stay rooted to my spot. The rift opens and we jump through, landing back in our present.

Alexius surrenders. I thought all was done but the King of Ferelden walks in. He demands to know why his people were run out of Redclift and wants the mages gone. They agree to take whatever I give them. I offer to accept them as full allies. Nothing more I'm glad solas agrees and Cassandra as well but Cullen..When he hears of this it will be another notch of 'why he hates mages'. But they put me in charge and I did what needed to be done. End of story. So with the mages in tow we head back to haven. We should be able to close the breach once and for all.


	5. Calm before the storm

I stand at the RedCliff gates watching everyone mount up and prepare for the 2 day trip to Haven but my trip through time and the fighting that took place has taken its toll. Dorian and I took our fair share of direct hits, it happens when you're a mage, because you know, you can't just hop skip out of the way when you are in mid cast. It's just not possible, so we end up taking a lot of hits, some worse than others. The fact that I am leaning on my staff and Dorian is draped over a guard, is a testament to that fact.  
There are a few hundred mages so everyone getting mounted up takes time.  
"You did it" I look over my shoulder when I hear him  
"Yes, and learned some useful things as well but at what cost? I'm so beaten I can hardly stand, and we are taking Felix's dad because he sought the wrong people for help, poor kid"  
"You cannot save nor fix everything, ma falon" Solas speaks softly  
I try to nod but that simple act causes me to lose my balance. He catches me mid fall "here", he puts an arm around me helping me stand.  
"Healing magic and food will do you some good. You've been back for almost two hours now and have yet seen to your wounds" Before I can protest Solas tells one of the guards on hand to take as much time as they need getting the mages ready then leads me to the tavern. I say nothing as we walk in, and he leads me to an unoccupied corner and sits me down gently.  
"I'll be ok, I really should be at the gate helping" I finally speak up as he begins pulling herbs out of his backpack. If he heard me, he is ignoring what I said because he orders some stew and points to my shirt, where blood has begun to dry.  
"Off" He simply says. I hate that he is able to do that, one moment you can see the caring elf he is then the next second he is void of all emotion, it is like flicking a switch, it drives me bonkers. When I don't comply he repeats himself "off…please". Tilting my head back I sigh as I undo my belt and pull up my shirt. I refuse to completely remove it in a full tavern so I settle for bunching it up under my breasts, just high enough for him to tend the wound on my side. The cut is large but, thankfully not that deep. I watch as his hands begin to glow green with healing magic, I can't help but flinch as he gently places his hands on my side. When done with the worst cut, Solas moves to the ones on my arm/face and shin.  
"There" Solas says softly, whipping his hands off, " a dose of healing potion for pain and any infection, some food and sleep then you will be as good as new"  
Putting my shirt back down I thank him and dig into the stew that was brought, I was glad for the food but even more so Solas was here with me. After our food we head back to the gate, I am still a little worse for wear but it is something only sleep will fix.  
Back at the gate I stand propped up against solas, while we were away the mages and the rest of our party had finished packing and were now ready to leave. They were just waiting for us to return. Somehow I managed to mount up and was by the grace of Fen'heral was able to lead the big party back to Haven. Upon our return we are greeted by Leliana, my commander and various other people. With help I dismount.  
"I'll explain in the war room, we have lots to talk about" I grunt when my feet hit the ground. One step shows I am not yet ready to stand much less walk on my own and before I know it I once again find solas at my side holding me up, with a soft smile I head to the war room.  
"Shouldn't he leave? He helped you here and is now no longer needed" Cullen mumbles through gritted teeth as he glares at Solas.  
But before I can reply Solas speaks up, "He's right, ma falon, don't worry you can sleep after this" and with that he leaves.  
" ALLIES?! What were you thinking Bell? Yes its good you helped them, great, but now everyone here is at risk what if one becomes possessed? What then?  
"What was I do to?"  
"You should have at least consulted us first"  
"That was time I did not have 'commandar'." I rub my eyes, " Look I did what I thought was right, I was put in charge and did what I had to, I'm sorry you don't trust mages, I'm sorry you don't trust me but if they are going to help us, we need them to trust us and us to trust them."  
Cullen sighs sitting down, " I never said I don't trust you" his words were almost a whimper, like a kicked puppy. He's not happy with my actions but I can't please everyone, and I doubt me practically hanging on solas helped, those two clearly don't like each other but the reason escapes me. We wrap up our talks with Cullen quitter than a mouse. Thankfully everyone agrees right now the breach is our main concern and the mages are here to stay, so getting everyone to work together is a must. Josie said it best, despite the issues with mages people still look to me for answers, they don't let me being a mage get in the way, and we can use that as an example. Through my actions we can hopefully prove mages can be trusted.  
As usual I am the first to leave the war room, I stand with my forehead against the cool stone of a pillar, trying and failing to will my headache away.  
"I don't agree with your decision but I promise to try not to let it get to me, as Josie said you've proved mages can be trusted, and I'm sorry if my issues have caused you pain" I tilt my head to the side, peaking through the hair that has fallen over my face and simply nod.  
"Come" Cullen almost commanded, as he picked me up and took me to the bath house. " A hot bath and bed you look like you need it", aha truer words have never be spoken, I thank him as I'm left with a servant girl who helps me undress and settle into the warm soapy water. Oh yah I needed this, I dip a cloth into the water, wring it out and place it over my eyes, there in the bath I drift off, the image of solas healing my wounds fill my head as I start to sleep.  
Hours later I awake to find myself in my bed. Quickly I sit up, my arms crossing my chest before I relies I am dressed. Who? My ears burn hot, who moved and dressed me? As I stand I notice it the sky is dark, how long was I passed out? Flicking my wrist I light the candles, now that there is light I notice a note on my desk with a, long since cold plate of rabbit haunches next to it.  
" Bell, I hope you sleep well. Doesn't worry I had the servants dress you so I wouldn't see anything, Here is some dinner for when you wake. Rest up for come a fortnight we go to close the breach  
~Cullen"  
My ears burn hotter as I shake my head and tuck away the note before grabbing the plate and sitting down. A simple fire spell heats the food just right, it's pretty good the chef is defiantly getting better. There was a lot there but I, much to my surprise ate every last bite. Things are going to get busier, we have to get the mages settled in, convince everyone to play nice then go and hopefully close the breach. Fen'harel ar ghilana.

{ Elvish translation: Ma= friend, Falon= friend, Fen'harel= dread wolf, ar = me, ghilana =guide}


	6. Group Effort

With the arrival of the mages Haven is well past its capacity. There is a tent in every nook and cranny, I even offered to give up my cabin but my advisors wouldn't hear of it, well I can still help with setting up the tents…Or rather I thought I could, on the ground I kneel like a child looking over the directions, the tent a mess in front of me. I've never pitched a tent before, there was no need my clan slept under the starts only a wolfs fur between us and the ground. The directions helped non what so ever, yet everyone and their mother was pitching tents like no tomorrow. Then there was me ,almost 20 minutes have been spent trying to figure this thing out. Tossing the parchment to the side I grab two rods and look at the heap that should be a tent

" Halma shlin, ar tu halam'ne" I vowed and put forth my best effort. An hour…an hour later I stand back with a grin.

" Ma halma!" By now Dorian has wandered over

" What in all of Thedas are you yelling about squeaky?" He questions with a tilt of his head

" Squeaky?"

" Your voice is high pitched yet soft, like a mouse squeak, so yes squeaky" I simply roll my eyes and waves my hand in the air dismissing his words with a chuckle.

"I was yelling because I finally pitched the tent." I beam all too happy

" This tent?" I nod proudly

" This tent here?" he asks, I nod again slower this time as I watch an evil grin cross Dorian's face. He reaches out a hand, index finger extended. He then proceeds to poke the top of the tent.. Which causes it to collapse

" FENEDHIS LASA!" I scream as I drop to my knees, jaw practically on the ground, "but.. But I..But" I pinch the bridge of my nose

" You knew that would happen didn't you?" Dorian simply grins, his arms crossed over his chest. Taking a deep breath I slowly stand

" You are so so boned" I shout as I begin to chase him around Haven, shooting harmless sparks at him from my fingertips. Everyone has stopped to watch their mighty Herald chase after the Tevinter mage like an upset child. Dorian runs through the front gate past Cullen

" Grab her, she's after my glorious head!" He half screams half laughs as he passes the commander

" WHOA there" Cullen says as he catches me around the waist knocking the wind out of me, " what's going on?" He puts me back on the ground and I cross my arms

" My tent, I worked hard on that and he" I finally realized all of Haven was at the gate watching me behave as a child " nothing never mind" I respond trying to regain my composure. That earns me a hearty laugh from Dorian.

" Come on, I'll help, okay?"

" Fine" I mumble as we head back and everyone goes back to what they were doing. With his help we get it built… right this time. Tent building isn't my thing I guess. All that running though I could use a drink, so Dorian and I head to the tavern where we find Solas, Varric and Bull, when they see me they bust out laughing, save for solas who is trying hard not to join.

" So squeaky did you and sparkles best the tent?" I freeze as I'm sitting

" Fenedhis" I mock as I grab a flagon of water

" Don't worry ma falon its kinda of cute" Solas says soft enough the group hardly caught it. We talk nonsense till I am approached by a solider, saying that I was needed in the war room. There my advisors and I go over the plans for the conclave and how we should best handle the breach. Our discussion goes well past sun down. Because of this we agree to take the next day to ready our selfs.

The day before our march to the conclave is mostly a blur. While everyone readies themselves I am left to train. Thankfully I'm not alone for long, eventually Solas joins me and we practice offence and defense, switching back n forth on the roles.

" You are deadly with that thing" He says breathlessly as he motions to the jagged dagger blade on the end of my staff. I grin in response

" Maybe I can teach you sometimes" I laugh

" I've no doubts there ma falon " With that we part, for come next morning we leave.

Upon our arrival, mages and soliders alike take their positions on and around the broken walls of the conclave. I stare up at the sky, I hope this works, Fen'Harel ar ghilana, oh I hope this works. Solas comes over and places a hand on my shoulder, with a light squeeze he heads back to the mages.

" MAGES FOCUS YOUR POWER, YOUR WILL. LET THE HARLID DRAW FROM YOU!" He exclaims loudly as he addresses the mages. The shear amount of power they generate is visible to even the most shem of shems. With a deep breath I reach my hand out, up towards the sky and close my eyes, drawing on the mages power, mixing it with my own. The breach and my mark glow a bright angry green and a primal yell escapes my lips, as my open hand turns to a fist. Quickly I snap my arm back and with that breach implodes on its self as it closes sending out a shock wave powerful enough to knock standing people in Haven to the ground. The force of it has stirred the dirt on the ground and has left everyone close, including myself, face down in it. With groans everyone begins to stand, Cassandra and Solas push the guards closest to me out of the way to see if I live. I look up and carefully stand, Cass pats me on the back and cheers with everyone else while Solas says words of praise and helps me to my horse.

As we near Haven cheers of joy and songs of praise can be heard from inside the gate. Seams they couldn't wait for us to start the celebrations. When the gates are opened and we step through a flood of people rush us, it's so bad we had to calm the horses before they trampled someone. Late into the evening the people of Haven drink and celebrate. Eventually I manage to steal myself away and stand by my spymasters tent overlooking everything when I am approached by Cassandra. Before she speaks she…she hugs me it was quite the shock considering how we met…It's been what three months? Has it really been that long, geeze, anyway after the hug she steps back, her arms behind her back.

" Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm, the breach is sealed. Many questions remain but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread."

" It wasn't just me seaker, we all did this"  
" Yes but it is your mark"

" Doesn't matter, I didn't even think I.." I stop mid-sentence as church bells begin to ring, Cullens voice breaks over the sound.

"Forces approach, to arms" He yells, easily slipping from his happy relaxed state back into his commander guise. A quick glance at Cass then I grab my staff and rush to the gate, there I am greeted by Solas, Sera and Bull. All ready to fight whatever was headed our way.

" Cullen?"

" A scout has reported a mass of forces, the bulk over the mountain marches."

"But under what banner?" Josies questions as she rushes over

" None"

"None?!" Cullens hand flies to the hilt of his sword when the gate bangs as if hit by a heavy object.

"Open it" I comman a guard as I slowly approach it. When the gates open a man is struck down, behind him, a young man

" I came to help" He points to the mountain as he speaks and explains what is headed our way. The trebuchets, I almost forgot we had them. I almost order Cullen to ready the troops as I head out towards the first, Solas, Sera and Bull close on my heals. After the first finally fires we make our way to the second aiming it between waves of red Templars. Thankfully the second caused an avalanche but our small victory is cut short when a dragon passes over head. Quickly we make our way back to the chantry, saving who we could manage on the way. There we learn we learn we have one option, the last trebuchet, we must turn it on the hills behind Haven and bury the town. Chancellor Roderick and Cullen can get everyone out but my group and I must be the ones to bury the town.

Staring at the chantry doors I grip my staff hard enough to turn my knuckles white. 'Fenedhis' I think to myself as Cullen comes up behind me putting a hand on my arm, spooked me so bad I almost wacked him with my staff.

"Wait for the signal before firing. Let that thing hear you, it's the only way we have a chance. And" He turns away

" You'll come back I know it" As he leaves Solas walks over, trying and failing to hide his death glare

" Don't worry you got this" if he is as scared as I am he doesn't show it. With a heavy sigh I take one last look around the chantry before heading out. We were forced to fight our way to the last trebuchet, it was shocking to see how many Red Templars have descended upon us during our short time inside. We manage and I was moments away from hitting the latch when the damn dragon flew overhead again, this time it was making a B line for us.

"RUN!" I scream, Solas, Sera and Bull managed to get out of the way but I was too slow. I'm knocked to the ground as the thing lands. It stands tall between my group and I. That's when I see him the 'Elder one' my group is hesitant to run, unable to decide if they should stay or go. But I order them to leave, to head back to the chantry n the others that I will be fine. Solas is the last to go, fear finally showing on his face

" FENEDHIS LASA SOLAS. GO! Help the others I will be fine" With a sigh he turns and goes leaving me with the Elder one and his Dragon. Croypheus, a name that will haunt my dreams for days to come. His attempt to remove my mark, which turned out to be an anchor he needed for his plans were unfruitful but his rage gave me the small window I needed. I looked to my right to see he had tossed me right next to the latch for the trebuchet, with my staff in hand I look him dead in the eye and say

" Thank you, now I know were to direct my forces" With that I kick the latch causing it to fire. A loud smack is heard followed by a low rumble as my mark is hit. Before Croypheus realizes what I had done I turn on my heal and run. I didn't get to far as my next step sent me down through some old board covering the opening to a cave. My body hit the ground with a hard thunk, a heavy sigh and I pass out.

Waking a few hours later I find it hard to stand, upon inspection I find I have a few cracked ribs and Fen'Harel knows what else. But I can't stay here. With my sides screaming at me I stand and follow the cave to what I hope is an exit. As fate would have it I did encounter a few demons in that cave but I found my mark had a new power, now I could not only close rifts but I could also open a temporary one which sucked my enemies in. For a moment I wonder if other powers with surface but for now I continue. Outside the cave the world is masked in snow. I wander north for what seems like hours before I hear voices shouting. With a sigh of relief I fall to my knees

{Elvish translations; Halma=ends, sahlin= now or in this moment, ar= I, tu= to cause, halam= finish, ne=you. Ma= you, halma= finished, Fenedhis=curse word, Lasa= extension of fenedhis, ma=my, falon=friend. Note because I use fenedhis/ lasa and ma falon so much this will be the last time I translate these two words.


	7. Our new home

A new home

I awaken to Cullen and the rest of my advisors fighting with each other, I've been in and out of it for a while now and through it all they have fought nonstop. Mother Giselle said they only have the luxury because of me. Everyone saw me fall only to rise up once again. To them I was back from the dead. Carefully I stand and move to lean aginst the post of the tent I was in and watched the advisors part, for a moment it was silent but from behind me mother Giselle began to sing and before I knew it everyone was joining and have moved to kneel at my feet. When the song ends spirits are once again high as people start to relax a little.

" A word?" Solas says as he walks past me, curious I follow. Outside of the camp a single torch stands. He tells me what I already knew, that it's been a very very long time since humans held an elf so high. But some news I was not expecting

" The orb Croypheus carries is elven. It could be bad for us is people learned this fact." I didn't want to believe that, that thing held an all-powerful artifact from my people but Solas has yet to steer me wrong so I was forced to believe his words. ' Fenehdis lasa' I think to my self. It has been one thing after another since the conclave now this? Just what I didn't need. I stood by the torch arms crossed when he speaks again.

" And I wanted to say.." His voice goes soft as I tilt my head to the side curious, " it's good to have you back. Now" and his mask is back, that dang switch of his I swear.

" Scout to the North there you will find a strong hold worthy of your Inquisition" With that he begins to take his leave,

" Wait.." I say quickly reaching a bandaged hand out to him " stay with me a moment please?" I ask trying to hide the fact I have begun to shiver. With a small smile and nod he walks back over and looks at me before taking off his coat.

"Here, you are still wounded and might catch your death in this cold" With that he puts it around me and holds it there with his arm around my shoulders. Looking to the star filled sky I smile. We don't stay long, for the vail fire lit torch offers little warmth. Solas helps me to my tent and lets me keep his coat. Soon after I am back asleep holding it close.

When dawn approaches I help ration out what food we have, before going to find Solas on my way I pass Cullen, who tries to give me half of his morning rations, I deny and continue on my way. Once everyone has eaten, I stand on a stump to address everyone. Much to my surprise it was easier than I thought, I explained that we were going to head north, where hopefully we will find a place to call home. Despite recent scouts saying they found nothing in that direction everyone is quick to trust and follow me. People walking next to me change almost by the hour but Solas, Cullen and Bull who has quickly become a close friend, spend more time than most at my side

We spend a week. Our rations begin to run low and beasts of burden begin dying off. I, along with the rest of the group slowly begin to lose hope, but solas urges me on. If the afternoon of the 9th day we see it. There standing in all its glory against the vast snow on the mountains is Skyhold. I was so estic I lost it. I practically tackled Solas as I squeaked with joy. But as usual everyone was watching, confused as to why their Herald was, once again behaving like a child. With a nervous laugh I let go of Solas and compose myself and lead my group to its gates. Skyhold needs work, a lot of work but if Corypheus ever attacks us again, at least here we will stand a chance.

For the first few days we have settled for sleeping in the court yard as the rubble to the keep still needed to be moved. It wasn't even a full day before my spymaster had ravens sent out to all of our allies informing everyone what had happened and where we were. One day I was at the gate helping move crats when I was approached by Cassandra, I followed her as she spoke how I had surprised her and she was glad for the fact. When she stopped talking I noticed we were standing on the stoop of the keep stairs.

There before me Josie and Leliana stand, in Leliana's hands is this huge sword, about the size of what Bull might swing around.

" They arrive daily from all over Fereldan and Orlais. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage. If the world knows then Corypheus does too. This has become more than we thought it would be. But because of that we know what has allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you." I look at my hand

" All he wanted was the mark, but it's been rendered useless to him so he wants me dead"

"It has power yes, but that's not all. You and your decisions helped us close the breach, you led us to Skyhold. Have sworn to save all those who oppose you for being an elf mage. You are his rival because of what you did not because of your mark. The Inquisition needs a leader, someone who has already been leading it from the start." As she speaks, she moves to stand next to Leliana who holds the sword out. Below us a crowd gathers.

My eyebrows shoot up and my jaw practically hits the floor

"But..but I'm not even human. Are you..are you sure you want this? I'm an elf, would they really accept that?" I manage to studder in my surprise.

" They already have" Cassandra responds a grin on her face " But what it means to you. Where you lead us that is for you to decide." I look over the people that have gathered as I take the sword.

" I will lead us against Corypheus, I will be an ambassador. I am an elf standing for Thedas, the Inquisition is for all." I proclaim

" Where ever you lead us. HAVE OUR PEOPLE BEEN TOLD?" Cassandra shouts over the crowd

"THEY HAVE" Josie yells happily

"COMMANDAR WILL THEY FOLLOW" Cass looks down to Cullen. He draws his sword.

" INQUISITION WILL YOU FIGHT?" He yells, and the group cheers, "WILL YOU FOLLOW?" Another loud cheer. He turns on his heal looking up at me, sword pointed to the sky, "YOUR LEADER, YOUR HERALD, YOUR INQUISITOR!" Stunned and surprised by everyone's response I can't help but grin as I point the sword towards the sky while the people…My! People cheer. I've had my doubts, any elf in their right mind would but now I am starting to believe we may actually be able to do this.

Through all of the excitement, the doors to the keep have finally been opened. My advisors and I march in. Talking about our next move of attack. There we are approached by Varric who says he has someone I need to meet someone who might be able to help, I agree to meet his friend on the battlemats later. First I want to explore the areas of the keep we have opened.

The few areas we did gain access to were huge, it made me wonder what this place used to be used for. There was a huge garden with a large number of room above it. An upper court yard with a tavern and a lover courtyard with a stable. The main spire off of the great hall was three floors tall with the second floor as a library. With all this space and more to uncover I knew none of our people would have to spend another night in a tent. I smiled to myself at the thought.

While clearing operations were underway, I already had my next assignment and was running around making finial preparations. Solas, Sera and Bull were to accompany me to Crestwood where a large rift was rummered to have opened in the middle of a lake. I have yet to speak to Varrics friend, and will probably be gone a handful of weeks but due to the large number of walking dead that were rising out of the waters our forces were unable to gain a foothold to help, so it was imperative that we set out as soon as we could.

As I make the last of my round, I am stopped by Cullen who has set up a crude table in the lower courtyard, as the battlement towers have yet to be cleared.

"We lost a lot of people with what happened at Haven. This place needs a lot of work but I cant… won't let what happen there happen here." He says as he stands and turns to face me.

"Do you ever sleep?" I question as I look at him

"I can't afford to. Too many good men were lost." He rubs the back of his neck, I've noticed he does that often must be a nervous tick, "and we almost lost you. I can't… I won't let that happen again, I swear it."

"Cullen" I start but he is pulled away back to work. With a shake of my head I go to collect my horse.


	8. Fade Touched

"Ma falon, you look like you need to talk" Solas says as he walks up to my tent. I can do nothing but smile n nod. It has been a long week on the road but thankfully we were getting closer to the base camp Harding had set up in Crestwood, the constant downpour was a sign of this.

"You're up late. I thought you passed out with the rest of the party hours ago."

" Not quite, I was about to lay down now but noticed your tent was still lit up. Is something bothering you"

" No, I'm simply thinking. And wishing we stayed at Skyhold a few more days, since I found the garden I've been meaning to plant a tree for someone I lost, it will have to wait. But enough of that we always talk about me. What about you?" I inquire.

" I'd be happy to tell you somethings but how about we go somewhere more interesting?" I tilt my head confused as he moves close to me whispering, "close your eyes" unsure I comply and moments later I'm told to open them again. When I do we are back in Haven. It's quite, only the smallest sound comes from the wind as it kicks up snow. The confusion must have shown on my face because he speaks once more.

"Haven is familiar and will always be important to you"

" I recall talking about that all ready" I say as I follow him. Soles leads me to the dimly lit dungeon of the chantry, as I look around I cross my arms hugging myself. Images swirl in my head of what happened that day.

" While you slept I watched over you, studying the anchor" I look over at him as he speaks once more

"It couldn't have taken long to look at the mark on my hand" He grins, as if my statement was amusing

" A magical mark of unknow orgins? Longer than you might think. I did everything I could think of, tests, searching the fade. Yet found nothing. Because of this Cassandra threatened to have me executed as an apostate if I couldn't produce results"

"She's like that with everyone" I say as I roll my eyes, this wins a hearty laugh from Solas as we begin to walk back outside,

"You were never going to wake up, how could you? A mortal sent physically into the fade? I was frustrated and frightened. I would have looked to my friends for answers but they had been driven away by the breach, I was alone. I wanted to help but Cassandra and I had no faith in each other." He pauses a moment " I was ready to flee."  
Confused again I look at him n eyebrow raised,

"But where to? The breach threatened the whole of Thedas."

" I did not know but somewhere far away, where I would be able to research a way to close the breach before it reached me…I never said it was a good plan" I watch as he turns away from me reaching his hand towards the sky

"One more attempt, to seal the rifts I thought, just one more, but I failed, no ordinary magic would affect them. Then you appeared a simple gesture from you and it was closed. That moment I felt the whole world change." Solas continues as he walks back over to me .

" Oh?" I ask, as I shift my weight to one foot. My hands resting on my hips

" Figure of speech" He responds quickly, taking a small step twords me as I look at the ground. " YOU, Change…Everything" He's close to me now. Without thinking I place a finger under his chin so he turns and looks at me, before either of us has a chance to move I kiss him. It was only the lightest of touch but his response tells me he wanted it as much as I did, for when I start to pull away Solas wraps his arms round me, pulling me close as he kisses back. My heart flutters as his tongue pass over my lips, eventually slipping past them.

Yet as suddenly as it began it ends as he pulls away, his expression somber as he cups the side of my face.

"We shouldn't, it isn't right..Not even here", bewildered I let my hands fall from his sides as he takes a step back, his switch has flipped once more. " Where did you think we were?" He asks, head tilted to the side in question. I look around when finally it dawns on me.

"This…This isn't real" I say as I look back to him.

"That's a matter of debate…probably best discussed after you" His last two words are barely heard "wake up!"  
I sit up a little too quickly and end up seeing starts, I groan as I place my head in my hands. When they are gone I find myself back in my tent remembering what was going on. The fade, how did I not realize that sooner? I mean yes I've only been there once before but that's not the point. Holding the wolfskin blanket close I grin. Fade or not I realize how much I wanted that more so than I thought I did. That chidish grin does not leave my face the rest of the day thankfully no one asked.  
We sattle up and head on our way, we weren't on the trail long before solas's horse trotted up next to me. His tone is hushed so Bull and Sera does not over hear us

"Sleep well?"

"I wasn't expecting that. The talking in the fade and" I trail off as my the tips of my ears turn red"

" I'm sorry, the kiss was impulsive and I should not have encouraged it"

" So you say, yet you started with the tongue" I say blushing harder

" I did no such thing" he proclaims, I can't help but giggle a little too loud which causes Bull to inquire if something is up.

" NO" we say in unision

" Anyway" I say taking my gaze off the trail for a moment to look over at him. " Does fade-tongue not count then?" Much to my surprise he blushes slightly

" It's been a long time and things are eaiser for me in the fade" His brow knits together as he looks for the words " I do not think this is for the best. It could lead to trouble" I nod, looking back to the trail, noticing we near scout Hardings camp

" If you are willing, I'd like to take that chance"

" I… maybe… I need to think, okay?" He manages to say as we reach the camp. Our conversation drops there for fear of being heard as soon as Solas is off his mount his switch is once again flipped and he's back to the overly composed, closed tight man he tries to be.  
During our time in Crestwood, we ended up unblocking the dam so we could close a large rift that opened under the water. Closing it was not easy but we managed and in doing so stopped the waves of undead that were causing the village of Crestwood heartache. But the mayor has fled, turns out it was he who flooded the old village. We stayed there a good month, Solas has not answered me but has been spending more time around me, so much so the others in my party begin to notice. Epically Bull, damn him. He would go

" Hey boss come check this out" When I did, I'd notice to late that we were alone. At which point Bull would start to pry. With things like " Come on boss, I'm Ben' hassrath remember? Hiding from me does not work" or " So Solas huh, no wonder the commander hates him" I would ask what he meant but he would only agree to explain if I told him what I was trying so hard to hide from him. So I'd curse him out in elvish, essentially saying

" Ar din dirth. Ar vallem ghilas, ma tu ar souvenir. Bellanaris din'an heem!"

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose then walk away. Thankfully Solas doesn't translate,

Anyway other than that constant annoyance and dealing with fixing up the town, I notice we have been gone a little over a month. Since there were somethings at Skyhold I needed to take care of I decided we would stay two more days then would begin our journey back. Things went simple enough, there were a few rifts to close then the burning of all those who fell during the rise of the undead. We even searched the missing mayors hours for clues on where he ran to but found nothing. I'll have to remember to ask my spymaster to search for him. It may have been years ago but he sill killed an entire village. The undead were a result of that. My last night I sit in the tavern going over my papers making sure we have everything.

"Thank you" I say as my last flagon is brought to me. The person said something but I wasn't paying attention. Eventually I roll up my papers and chug my drink, pay the tender then make my way back to camp. I was a little woosy on my feet, I may have drink more than my fill, I think to my self. Slowly but surly I make it to the edge of camp when the world goes black. Solas watches as Bell stumbles twards the camp. * She drank more than she meant to I guess" he thinks to him self as he walks over to her. But something isn't right, out of the corner of her mouth, this thick black liquid leaks.

"Bell?" He says as he gets closer but she doesn't respond,

"Bell, wake up". Still nothing, her breath is shallow and not a muscle moves. Growing concerned Solas rubs his thumb over her lower lip then raises his hand to his face inspecting the liquid. Faintly he can smell traces of Deathroot and Deep mushroom. What did she drink?

"Bell please" He says quickly, now fearing the worst. He looks around and spots Bulls tent, putting an arm under her knees, the other around her back, Solas picks Bell up and runs to Bulls tent. Inside he kicks the Qunari in the rips waking him up.

"I'm up...I'm up" Bull says as he sits and rubs his eye, but before he has time to do more Solas is kicking him off of his cot and laying down Bell.

"She was coming back to camp. The liquid, on her lips, I think she was poisoned. Get Sera and go find a healer. If not here in town then maybe the fortes we captured here. Our men should be there by now and a healer among them" With out a word Bull darts out of the tent to do as Solas said. *Throw up* he thinks to him self, that's what she needs to do. He leaves her side for but a moment so he may grab his backpack. He might have something in there that will make her empty her stomach. Soon he finds what he needs and begins crushing the herbs when Sera walks into the tent with a yawn.

"Bull went to the fortes, I searched the town, no healer here, wazzthat anyways elfie?" She says walking over"

Give me the pitcher" She hands it to him and Solas starts to seep the herbs.

"It's Bell, she was poisoned. Maybe the mayor did it or someone in the town, I do not know who, but right now we need her to empty her stomach and need a healer. Hold her head"

" Just run back to Skyhold, right? She should make the trip" Sera sits at the head of the bed and holds the Inquisitors head as Solas pours his mixture into her mouth.

"No, she won't" Is all he manges to respond before Bell quickly moves, leaning over the side of the bed, the contents of her stomach emptying onto the ground.

"Thank you Sera now go watch for Bull" Solas says softly as he sits next to Bell holding her hair back. When there is nothing left to empty she lays back on the bed becoming unresponsive once again. The world is quite while Solas holds her and waits for Bulls return. Thankfully it is not long before he hears the sound of hoof beats.

" All right whats..." The healer stops in his tracks when he walks in, their inquisitor has grown pale and looks like she has been knocking on deaths door, "Makers breath" He says as he walks over. " What happened?" he asks. Solas explains as best as he can before he is kicked out of the tent leaving the healer to do what he can while Bull gets the job of cleaning up the mess on the floor. Outside Solas paces back n forth stopping with each turn to look at the tent. After what seams like ages the healer comes out

"Good thing you emptied her stomach or she'd be gone. I did what I can. Deep mushroom and deathroot? Who ever did knows their herbs. At anyrate time will tell if she lives. How long is the trip back to skyhold?"

"About a week and a half, give or take a few days"

" She should make that, get her back there as quickly and carefully as you can. I was the only healer at the fortes, Skyhold will have more with better resources than myself. I will send a raven"


End file.
